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This holiday season is going to be slightly different than previous years…Many of us are usually panicked around this time of year due to seeing relatives that stress us out or violate our boundaries. For many people, COVID-19 might be a blessing in disguise to escape from the treacherous “why are you still single?” or “what are you doing with your life?” family questions around the dinner table. However, for some other’s it might feel lonelier than usual. This might be your first time spending the holidays alone or without loved ones. Since many people are out of work or getting time off from working from home due to the holidays, it is important to use this time as your own mini self-care vacation instead. Holidays are meant for love, […]
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Autumn Alexander, a 17-year-old living in Baltimore, couldn’t vote this election. But for hours, she watched the results from the presidential race trickle in with her family, realizing that the outcome would intimately affect her life as she starts adulthood, from her job prospects to access to health care. When it became increasingly clear that the results wouldn’t be announced that night, her “anxiety got really, really bad,” she says. She didn’t get to sleep until around 2 a.m., and the sleep she did get was “the toss-and-turn kind.” She woke at 7:30 a.m. to get ready for online learning. There were no concrete answers, and everything still felt “overwhelming,” Alexander says. That is, until calculus class, when her teacher put up a slide of “ground rules” for Wednesday’s session. […]
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The reality TV show Indian Matchmaking flooded Netflix with popularity this past month and let me tell ya…it’s pretty accurate. As a South Asian Punjabi woman, when I watched it, I was conflicted between laughter and frustration. The premise of the show is about upper class South Asian singles who are on the hunt for marriages with the help of matchmaker Sima Taparia AKA Sima mami (auntie). Sima mami helps rich eligible bachelors and bachelorettes find suitors for marriage and basically hooks them up on dates throughout the show. When each single is shown a potential partner, Sima mami gives them a “biodata” about each potential date. A biodata is basically a resume describing the person’s occupation, location, age, appearance, height, weight, interests, religion, caste, and more. Crazy right? But yes, biodata’s […]
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The strong Black woman trope has been ingrained in society for centuries. It’s a damaging stereotype that affects Black women in a multitude of negative ways. Black women tend to feel pressured to achieve the impossible and do so without showing any emotion as a mechanism to deal with the stress. They wake up and walk out of the door with an emotional armor in order to uphold the “strong image” often at the expense of their humanity. Whether its work, family or relationships we are constantly faced with situations where we are expected to remain strong and support others while suffering in silence. A stressful situation can trigger a series of stress hormones that can produce physiological changes in the body and mind. The “fight-or-flight” response is often discussed […]
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Being a woman of color (WOC) is a privilege but in today’s society there are a number of things that breed racial trauma. It is something that builds inside WOC – everyday we are met with different situations that add to our past painful experiences of racism. Many of us, including me have been oblivious to what we are suffering from. Wounds from generational, physical and personal racism as well as microaggressions and gaslighting have added to the suffering WOC must face in a daily basis. Racist incidents and gross injustice build up over time and result in racial trauma. Racial trauma is a form of race-based stress that occurs as a result of the racial discrimination people of color experience. Despite its similarity to post-traumatic stress disorder, racial trauma […]
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Ever have dinner with a therapist? My kids would be the first to tell you that it’s no ordinary affair. We dish up mac and cheese and existential debates at our dinner table. Like if sea animals were human would SeaWorld still exist? And will heaven be filled with OMG dolls? A little strange I know, but psychotherapists love a good question and the unforeseen places they can take you. The greatest joy of childhood is being able to ask the unfiltered and awkward questions. Especially the ones that leave the most seasoned parent dumbfounded. I got one of those recently, and wanted to run clear in the opposite direction. On the heels of George Floyd’s death, my son locked his big brown eyes on mine and asked, “Is it […]
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