Self-Care

How I Fell in Love… Again

Recently, I watched The Materialist with Dakota Johnson. She plays a young, ambitious matchmaker on a mission to connect women with New York’s most eligible bachelor. The energy is very Sex and the City—which, believe it or not, I only just started watching myself.

Maybe that’s why it hit me: I’m back in these dating streets. But here’s the difference—this time, I’m showing up as a very different woman than I was even two years ago.

On one hand, I’m still the hopeless romantic who wants to believe that partnership will complete me. On the other, I feel deeply content in my solitude—laughing, crying, moving about my home without compromise.

So, how do I reconcile those two truths?

When “Just Be Positive” Actually Makes Things Worse

Can we talk about something real? There’s a phrase that’s become so common we barely question it anymore: “Just stay positive.” I know people mean well. I know they’re trying to offer comfort or keep things moving when things get tough. But sometimes, those three little words hit differently, especially when you’re hurting. They imply that your sadness is a choice you’re making, or that your struggle is something you can simply think your way out of. For many of us, especially BIPOC women, that kind of forced positivity doesn’t just miss the mark it can feel dismissive or patronizing. We’re living in a time that asks a lot from us emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. We carry the weight of our families, our work, and our communities, all while navigating […]

How Systemic Homophobia Impacts our Mental Health.

Systemic homophobia permeates many facets of society, casting long shadows over the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals. This deep-seated prejudice is not confined to overt acts of discrimination; it infiltrates institutions, cultural norms, and social interactions, creating an environment where being gay is often fraught with fear and anxiety. In this blog post, we will explore the detrimental effects of systemic homophobia on mental health, particularly focusing on its manifestations in the military, its entanglement with rape culture, and its broader roots in patriarchal structures. We will also delve into the transformative potential of therapy and the interplay between queering and decolonization as pathways to healing.

Stop with the Foreboding Joy.

The world often feels like it’s teetering on the edge of chaos, and finding moments of genuine joy can be both a blessing and a burden. We’re conditioned to believe that happiness should come with a caveat, a whispered warning that reminds us of past pain or the suffering of others. This phenomenon, beautifully articulated by research professor Brene Brown, is what she terms “foreboding joy.” It’s the fear that accompanies moments of happiness, the nagging sense that something bad is just around the corner, waiting to snatch away our newfound bliss. Here, we explore how to access joy authentically without the fear.

A Guide to Queer Identity for BIPOC Women

Welcome to a much-needed conversation about the intricate journey of navigating LGBTQ identity as a woman of color. In a world where identities intersect and intertwine, the experiences of LGBTQ women of color are as diverse as they are complex. This blog post seeks to shed light on the unique challenges, triumphs, and nuances faced by LGBTQ women of color as they navigate the intersections of race, gender, and sexual orientation. 

Culturally Sensitive Boundary Setting

In a Westernized world where individualism is celebrated and encouraged, the concept of setting boundaries can be a challenging and complex terrain to navigate, especially for women of color. As members of communities that often prioritize family and collective well-being over personal desires, finding the middle ground between self-care and cultural obligations becomes crucial. Here, we will explore the significance of boundary setting within the context of cultural sensitivity, focusing particularly on the experiences of women of color in the United States.