Blog

The World Is Heavy Right Now. Yes, We’re Naming It in Therapy

Making sense of political stress without losing yourself As a therapist, politics are already in the room before anyone names them. It has been a heavy and unsettling time politically in the U.S., to say the least. People are living inside nonstop polarization, constant breaking news, public grief, protest, fear, and a deep sense of uncertainty about what comes next. Even on days when nothing “new” happens, there’s still a background hum of stress that never fully turns off. It feels like the ground keeps shifting and like staying oriented now takes more effort than it used to. I hear it in the way clients talk about the future with despair and existential dread. I notice it in how often people describe feeling chronically on edge, emotionally tired, or overwhelmed. […]

How I Fell in Love… Again

Recently, I watched The Materialist with Dakota Johnson. She plays a young, ambitious matchmaker on a mission to connect women with New York’s most eligible bachelor. The energy is very Sex and the City—which, believe it or not, I only just started watching myself.

Maybe that’s why it hit me: I’m back in these dating streets. But here’s the difference—this time, I’m showing up as a very different woman than I was even two years ago.

On one hand, I’m still the hopeless romantic who wants to believe that partnership will complete me. On the other, I feel deeply content in my solitude—laughing, crying, moving about my home without compromise.

So, how do I reconcile those two truths?

When “Just Be Positive” Actually Makes Things Worse

Can we talk about something real? There’s a phrase that’s become so common we barely question it anymore: “Just stay positive.” I know people mean well. I know they’re trying to offer comfort or keep things moving when things get tough. But sometimes, those three little words hit differently, especially when you’re hurting. They imply that your sadness is a choice you’re making, or that your struggle is something you can simply think your way out of. For many of us, especially BIPOC women, that kind of forced positivity doesn’t just miss the mark it can feel dismissive or patronizing. We’re living in a time that asks a lot from us emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. We carry the weight of our families, our work, and our communities, all while navigating […]

6 ‘Soothing’ Activities That Are Secretly Causing You More Anxiety

“I do things that exacerbate my stress,” Niro Feliciano, a psychotherapist and author, told HuffPost. “And I know that I’m doing them, but it’s natural as humans.” Even therapists can fall into these stress traps, she said. But if we work on how we handle stress even just 50% of the time, it can drastically help. We asked therapists about the one thing that they try to avoid for relieving stress because it can actually aggravate tension — and what they try to do instead. 1. ‘Binging’ On TV Or Shopping “The one thing I try my hardest not to do when I’m stressed is get stuck in patterns of binging anything — Netflix, retail therapy, junk food, etc.,” Sadaf Siddiqi, a psychotherapist and content creator, told HuffPost. “As humans, we all need […]

How Systemic Homophobia Impacts our Mental Health.

Systemic homophobia permeates many facets of society, casting long shadows over the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals. This deep-seated prejudice is not confined to overt acts of discrimination; it infiltrates institutions, cultural norms, and social interactions, creating an environment where being gay is often fraught with fear and anxiety. In this blog post, we will explore the detrimental effects of systemic homophobia on mental health, particularly focusing on its manifestations in the military, its entanglement with rape culture, and its broader roots in patriarchal structures. We will also delve into the transformative potential of therapy and the interplay between queering and decolonization as pathways to healing.

The Psychology of Limited Liberation

Marginalized groups often struggle to support each other due to the deep-seated psychology of scarcity. This concept, rooted in the idea that resources are limited, creates a pervasive fear that aiding another group’s liberation might detract from one’s own progress. This zero-sum mindset suggests that for one group to gain, another must lose, fostering competition rather than collaboration. This fear is particularly potent among marginalized communities, who frequently contend with systemic oppression, limited resources, and socio-economic challenges.