Being romantically involved with someone can be bliss, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a fulfilled life alone. After getting out of a long relationship, many women need to go through the complex task of (re)learning how to be happy single. We’ve all been there! But there is a solution (or better yet, plenty of them). Take a look at all the ways you can start enjoying life on your own.
Following Tips Will Show You How to Enjoy Being Single, Even After a Hard Breakup
There are so many reasons people think that happiness outside of relationships is impossible. In many cases, breaking up can mean the loss of support and comfort you rely on. On top of that, being alone is often stigmatized, even in a modern, so-called progressive society. How often have you witnessed unmarried women getting more work than, for example, married ones – because they don’t need to rush home to husband and kids? And higher levels of work stress are just the tip of the iceberg.
However, that certainly is not a reason to stay romantically involved with someone if it’s bad for you. Feeling sad, unfulfilled, and discontent in the post-breakup period is not a solution, either. The only thing left to do is learn how to be happy alone and single. As an experienced counselor for women, I’ve witnessed firsthand the best ways to achieve that goal – and I decided to share them with you.
First Step on How To Be Single And Happy – Stay Away From Associating Relationship With Happiness in Life
The feeling of happiness shouldn’t depend on the status of your love life. Still, this connection forms more common than you would have thought. You have probably seen people jumping between relationships because they just don’t know how to be happy being single. Maybe even you are one of them.
Keep in mind that this association is not healthy for you, your partners, or your love life in general. Your significant other should add more positive emotions into the mix, not being entirely responsible for them. That kind of pressure can, in some cases, even be the reason for the separation. Rather than practicing this unhealthy habit, a source of joy must come from you – you need to learn how to feel content regardless of others.
Ask Yourself Why Do You Prefer Being in Relationships Over Being Single
Some people mourn past liaisons because they still have strong feelings for their ex, and it’s understandable. However, there are plenty more women who just don’t want to be without a partner. There can be countless reasons for it – from needing to feel loved and desired to avoiding being self-reliant. Of course, a relationship is predestined to fail when you start it with a base like that. And then you become sad and alone all over again.
Another common reason people chase relationships or stay in bad ones is that they are afraid of feeling lonely. However, being alone will equal loneliness only if you allow it. And who says you can’t feel lonely even when you share your life with someone?
Avoid Focusing Only on the Good Parts of Past Relationship
This is one more mistake people tend to make and continue torturing themselves. Don’t put the last liaison onto a pedestal, but rather try to remember the bad with the good. It’s one of the well-known recipes to move on faster. The same goes for a period post-breakup – instead of focusing on the negatives, try thinking more about everything you love about it.
Have you ever heard of gratitude diaries? Writing down everything you’re grateful for every day will help you stay focused on the good, which is bound to positively affect your emotional state. Make sure you try it!
(Re)Create Your Support Network
Raise your hands, all of you who have lost a friend or two while in a serious relationship. It happens to all of us because your attention and devotion can be torn between different sides for a long time. However, in serious relationships, couples tend to support each other. When you want to walk away from a relationship, you’re bound to lose your partner’s support.
Therefore, working on your post-breakup support system is one of the most important things to do to achieve happiness. Call and visit your family more often, go out, make some new friends and try to relive those friendships you miss. Getting to the point of being content will be challenging without the right emotional support.
Find Ways To Rediscover Yourself
When in a committed relationship, women tend to put their wishes and needs on hold or even completely lose track of them. On the other hand, the breakup can become a chance to return to yourself. Being coupled up frequently means that you’re ready to put your partner’s desires in front of your own, which in some cases can even lead to you feeling constantly mentally exhausted. Breakups can help you put yourself first after a long time.
Rediscovering yourself is necessary after being intertwined with someone for years. You should find out who you are on your own, as an individual, rather than someone’s partner. Everyone should approach this issue with excitement because you can only benefit from the result. Stop looking at being alone as a simple absence of a partner and look from a different perspective. It’s a chance to remeet the most important person in your life – you.
All Goals Are Achievable, Even If You’re on Your Own
A big part of rediscovering is thinking about your new aspirations and goals. Some people believe they would never be content because their goals cannot be achieved without a partner. Having kids is a perfect example of that. However, you can achieve that even without being emotionally involved with someone. Although you must prepare yourself for all difficulties being a single mother can bring, you can decide to be a parent on your own – to have your own child, or even foster and adopt.
Spend All of Your Free Time Exactly the Way You Want It
How many times did you wish to go out, take some course or try a hobby, but you opted against it because your partner didn’t want to? One more benefit of staying alone is that you can spend your days as you please, without thinking if it will suit someone else. Doing the things you love (and discovering them) can be one of the steps leading you towards happiness. Think more about:
- Being spontaneous – do you have a place in mind you’ve always wanted to go to but never did? Now is the perfect timing – save up, relish each new experience and make new memories.
- Getting out of the house – have a girls’ night out, dance, laugh, or even flirt and enjoy not having to respond to anybody.
- Do some self-reflection – think about all the things you excel in and focus on doing stuff you’re good at. After a while, you’ll witness much greater confidence in yourself.
- Doing only what you really want to do – after the breakup, you’ll leave all the compromises behind. Therefore, if you don’t feel like doing something, simply don’t.
- Trying different hobbies (or going back to your old ones) – nothing will make you happier than doing all those small things you love.
- Getting involved in activities you always wanted – anything from preparing for a hike to volunteering in a hospital, try doing what you previously always lacked time for.
- Meditating, researching counselors for women, and learning how to love yourself – you’ll finally have enough time to commit to your emotional well-being, so learn how to improve it in the best way or book your first therapy appointment.
All of the tips mentioned above will help you feel more content until one day you realize you’ve succeeded at getting over a breakup, and you don’t mind being alone at all.
Focus Plenty Of Your Spare Time On Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is a necessary premise for happiness, but we often neglect it when being involved with someone. So, to achieve happiness, try some self-care ideas for women. Take care of yourself physically, don’t forget to rest, listen to music, learn something new, read a book or just stay in pajamas and pamper yourself.
If the breakup was tough, some self-care tips can ease the post-breakup process and help you learn that being alone comes with many benefits and things to enjoy. However, if your sadness and anxiety symptoms threaten to stay for long, don’t be ashamed to look at therapy for women of color.
The question of black women and depression is a topic of many studies (like Racial and ethnic differences in depression: current perspectives, for example). They all share the same conclusion – African-American women are more likely to suffer from chronic depression than Caucasians but are less likely to ask for medical assistance. Reaching out to a therapist is a crucial form of self-care, even before the problems become more severe.
Professional Women’s Therapy Can Show How to Be Happy Single and Successfully Apply What You Have Learned
The bottom line is that you shouldn’t fear being alone. Rather than that, learn how you can benefit from it. Instead of stressing over your relationship status, find out how to get the most from the situation you’re currently in.
However, sometimes it’s easier said than done, so many women look for professional therapists to help them cope with a breakup and find happiness in staying alone. If you’re thinking about choosing a therapist and looking for someone who can understand you the best, don’t hesitate to get in touch with us. Therapy for women of color is our specialty – we understand your perspective and will help you get through difficult times in the best way. Contact us now and book your free consultation!How to be happy single? Many women who had recently broken up have that same dilemma. If you are one of them, find out all the ways it can be achieved. How to be happy single? Many women who had recently broken up have that same dilemma. If you are one of them, find out all the ways it can be achieved.