How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated | How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated

How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated

Mental Health

Tamika Lewis February 24, 2022

It’s difficult when relationships end but learning how to get over someone you never dated may seem worse. Love doesn’t always make sense because it’s mysterious and powerful. That’s why you feel this way and wonder if you’re in a situation without salvation. We’ll unpack it together and give some dating and life advice along the way.

Can You Get Your Heart Broken by Someone You Never Dated?

Really, it’s possible to feel heartbroken, disappointed, and sad over someone you loved but never had a romantic relationship with. This happens to everyone at least once, and it’s the topic of numerous movies, novels, and stories.

If you feel like this, the first thing you want to know is that nothing’s wrong with you. Objectifying the situation and your feelings may do good for a short period, but it won’t last. Still, what you feel towards this person won’t last forever, either.

Your heart may have gotten broken, but you’re strong and will get through it. If you’re unsure you can handle the emotions, consider if you should see a therapist. They know how to help you deal with confusing emotions and difficult life situations in a way you couldn’t alone.

A young woman standing on some stairs and pondering
If you're unsure you're able to handle strong emotions, consider women's counseling

Steps on How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated but Loved

So, how do you get over someone you never dated? Besides the usual self-care tips you may so often hear, like pampering yourself whenever necessary and crying your heart out, the crucial part is letting time do its thing.

It may sound like an overused tip that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but just like you can’t speed up the healing of a flesh wound, you can’t do it with an emotional one. Everyone processes complicated emotions differently.

Relationships are complex, but those always on the edge of becoming more but never do seem to hurt just as much. Having someone you never dated but liked for a long time doesn’t make them less relevant to your life.

Still, there are ways to stop yourself from going deeper and damaging your mental health, such as:

  • Accepting that the person you loved has flaws, too,
  • Cutting yourself some slack for having feelings for them,
  • Reducing the amount of time you spend on their social media,
  • Going to women’s therapy,
  • Spending time doing activities you enjoy,
  • Being with friends and family.

This is a short but essential list of things you can do while healing. The toughest one will be losing confidence in yourself and your judgment, which is normal. However, if these negative feelings persist, consider counseling with an expert.

Have an Honest Conversation With Yourself About Your Feelings

The one tip on how to take care of yourself that you’ll often hear is understanding your boundaries, limits, and triggers. This is hard to learn alone, which is why it’s mostly done with therapists and counselors for women. Still, there are ways to learn how to get over someone you love but never dated that could help when you’re alone, too.

If you’re not into talking to yourself, get a notebook and a pen, and start a journal. Writing your feelings on a piece of paper will make them materialize, and you’ll be able to reread them after a while.

No matter how dramatic it seems, write down your emotions honestly and don’t blame anyone in the process. Reading back could make you judge yourself more, but remember, what you felt was real at one moment, and you were doing your best to get over it.

Being honest with yourself and not passing judgment is one of the most critical factors that can help you get over hardship and learn how to deal with stress.

A woman off-screen writing into a notebook on a white desk
Use journaling as a coping method during difficult times - counselors for women recommend this, too

Don’t Read Into Things Too Much Since That Will Prolong Your Pain

If you shared your emotions with someone who turned you down, that’s pretty tough, but it’s honestly not that scary. However, thinking about the conversation or the times this person showed interest in you will drive you insane.

Even if they were interested at some point, it doesn’t mean they couldn’t change their mind. People do this often, and you’re likely guilty of it, too. While it seems cruel to simply decide otherwise, it’s not out of the blue.

Don’t look back on times when the one you like made it seem like they wanted a relationship. It’ll prolong your pain, which is the opposite of what should be happening right now.

Stop Seeing Everything as a Sign

Similarly to going back to situations, you don’t want to look into things with too much enthusiasm. If they still view your Instagram stories, ask about you or smile at you in passing, it doesn’t mean they’ve changed their mind.

Going down the rabbit hole of analyzing their every move, online or in person, can lead you to become mentally exhausted and lose count of what’s important in life.

You likely have so much more going for you than just worrying about someone who didn’t see dating you as something they want. And after all, it’s not love if it makes you feel bad.

A young couple looking uncomfortable on the street
When dealing with rejection, it's best to stay away from those you have feelings for

Take Into Account the Good and Bad Qualities of This Person

You likely see this person through rose-colored glasses at the moment – thinking all the best of them, putting them on a pedestal, and putting yourself down for not being good enough. This toxic behavior is typical among people in love, especially those unhappily in love.

The way you see yourself can impact your views of dating and self-love. It may seem like these two don’t always go together, but getting the right amount of healing and the help of the right people, you’ll see that they’re a great combination.

If they made you laugh, were intelligent and good-looking, that’s fine – it’s the reason you liked them anyway. But if next to that, you also felt hurt, doubted your abilities and qualities, or somehow wanted to change to fit in with them, they weren’t suitable for you, after all.

You will compromise a little with the one you love, but not at the expense of your well-being and confidence. When that starts happening, it’s the right time to walk away from a relationship. If this were the case, you’d soon think of the heartbreak as a blessing in disguise.

A girl sitting on the couch cross-legged with a notebook and her dog sitting next to her
Write a list of pros and cons if that makes it easier to deal with bad emotions

Stop Checking up on Them and Limit Their Access to You and Your Social Media

Why is it hard to get over someone you never dated? Nowadays, the answer to this question is mostly – social media. We always have eyes and ears on others’ lives through social networks, which inevitably means we can see what the person we like is doing.

It’s very easy to succumb to pressure and visit their profile and deep dive into the meaning of their posts and photos. Still, there’s no need to explain why this is bad for you. Consistently keeping tabs on someone who doesn’t like you back increases anxiety and depression.

Maybe you’re the one who constantly watches their posts and stories online, but getting anxious also comes from them watching your posts and stories. This may give you false hope and cause you to adjust your behavior to their preference.

Limit their access to you if it noticeably makes you stressed. Nowadays, social networks have many options for restricting access to our profiles. All you have to do is gather the strength to do it and trust that it’s for the best. Otherwise, it’s also a great idea to realize the impact of social media on your mental health and work on improving your odds.

A woman sitting on the grass and browsing social media on her phone
Social networks are tricky for our mental health, especially if there's someone we have the urge to check on

Try Working on Your Emotions and Understanding Them Better Through Therapy for Women

Therapy for women may seem like an automatic answer to many problems. But, it’s no exaggeration to say more of us should be seeing a therapist since not many do. If you’re scared to book your first therapy appointment because the question of why can’t I stop thinking about someone I never dated seems unworthy of seeing a counselor for women, think again.

People in therapy don’t always have complicated mental illnesses or issues; sometimes, they’re just there to be seen and heard. Our WOC Therapy services offer help to women dealing with difficult times and feelings, no matter how small or big.

Enjoy Womanhood and Learn About Yourself Throughout the Process

Counseling for women is a helpful tool in getting to know yourself. If you learn why you react a certain way, you’ll find it easier to handle those reactions in the future. This is a cycle that only benefits from itself. Don’t ask if therapy works, but take a deep breath, contact us, and see for yourself.

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