We have all heard the saying, “maybe love is not enough”. This sentence often proves to be true in real life. But how do you make a difference between love or infatuation, between devotion and other emotions? The big question is: when to walk away from a relationship? What are the signs that you need to consider when you are in a toxic situation? Keep reading and find out how to know when to walk away from a relationship.
How Do You Know if It’s Time to End a Relationship?
Knowing when to walk away from a relationship is never an easy task. When you are in one, it can be easy to get lost in it. Sometimes, it is hard to admit that it is time to end things. People get used to things that bother them, choosing to stay in an unhealthy situation because they hope that change will come eventually, which is almost never the case. People can change, we believe they indeed can, but sometimes wanting to change someone badly is part of the problem.
Wanting to change someone you love badly is a red flag.
What Is the Right Moment to End a Relationship?
If you are thinking about ending things just because the excitement that was there initially is gone, our advice is not to rush into any decision-making yet. All relationships go through stages, even if the intensity of those feelings is not the same for both parties. When you first fall in love, you overlook your partner’s flaws, and later on, when the honeymoon phase is over, you start to notice imperfections.
Maybe you have started noticing things you haven’t seen before? That is a perfectly normal thing and should not be a reason for a breakup. Also, you may start to disagree with your significant other, maybe even begin to argue with one another. Perhaps that should raise some alarm for you? All couples occasionally argue. If they don’t, someone in that partnership is probably making more compromises than they should.
If you are wondering when is the right moment or when you should walk away from a relationship, you are the one that should provide the answer. You are the one that sets the timeframe and the one that makes this decision. All we can do is offer you some guidance and insights on what a good partnership is and how to get the best self-care tips and have affection and validation for yourself.
Arguing a lot can be resolved with couple therapy.
Tips to See if You Are in a Healthy Partnership
First things first, we need to talk about good relationships. When you are involved with someone, the keyword is the partnership. If you are not teaming up with your significant other in the most important things, then your future together may be in jeopardy. A partnership should imply mutual trust and respect for each other and each other’s opinions. When you argue with your significant other, do your best to listen and acknowledge their side of the story and their opinions. You two should come up with a solution on a particular matter together. Here are some things every healthy partnership should have:
Negotiation and fairness
Trust and support
Honesty and accountability
Quick Insights into Toxic Relationships
Falling in love is something we are all familiar with. But to leave someone you love or think you love when the situation becomes toxic may be new to you. When is the right moment to remove yourself from that? The answer is as soon as you notice you’ve started losing yourself, your self-esteem, and your happiness. Here are some signs you need to pay attention to:
You feel sad when you’re with them – If you are not happy and feel sad around your partner, this is not a good sign, and something must be reexamined.
Constant disputes and fights – If you are arguing with your significant other all the time or those fights never reach a concrete solution, that is a major red flag.
You make all the compromises – When arguing, you are the one who will always back down and make a compromise (even if it is not in your interest), just to end the argument.
There are walls all around you – It’s normal to keep some things for yourself, but there shouldn’t be a hurdle in communicating basic feelings and desires. If you are with someone who is hard to read and who doesn’t share anything with you, this can quickly become an environment deprived of trust.
Affairs and lies – If your partner lies a lot and is having an affair, this is a massive violation of trust, and no romantic feelings can overcome this issue easily.
Healthy partnerships imply mutual trust and respect for each other.
Abusive Relationship Signs to Pay Attention To
Toxic and abusive relationships are quite alike. The main difference is that toxic relationships may become abusive, while all abusive relationships are toxic by nature. People usually approach domestic violence with a lot of stereotypes and misconceptions. You’ve probably heard the sentence “why doesn’t she/he just leave”. Well, it is hard to walk away from someone you love or think you love and even more complicated if you have been isolated from your friends and family, financially controlled, and physically in danger.
Living in fear and with an abusive partner can leave long-lasting traumas. A person who is in this situation needs help, not only to escape the abuser but also to heal and to get emotional support. A lot of mental health disorders can emerge from this kind of trauma, like anxiety disorders and depression. Here is some behavior that can indicate your partner is abusive:
Threatening to hurt you or your children
Blaming you for everything that is bad
Threatening to commit suicide if you leave
Being jealous all the time
Being controlling of your correspondence and whereabouts
Trying to make you look crazy in front of others.
Walking Away From a Relationship: Can a Medium Help in This Matter?
Is it okay to walk away from someone you love? The simple answer is yes, it is ok. You can feel affection for someone and still know that this person isn’t right for you. These kinds of breakups are hard to deal with because you are still in love, but you decided to end things for your own good.
Here is where a therapist can help you, but you will need to do research and find one that is the best for you. Wondering how to choose a therapist? As a general rule, try to look for a professional who can relate to you on both professional and personal levels. For instance, women of color could benefit much more from having a black female therapist or going for therapy for Asian women, Latinx therapy, or picking another woman of color therapist much more than choosing a non-minority professional. As women of color therapists, they will have more understanding of the position of minority women and how our cultural identity can influence our interpersonal relationships.
How Do You Walk Away From Someone You Really Love?
How to walk away from the love of your life or how to walk away from a relationship in general? If you are troubling yourself with these questions, maybe it would help to reach out to a mediator or counselor. They can help you and your partner understand whether you need to break up or your romance can be salvaged.
You can also go to a therapist alone and talk about the issues that are bothering you. If you experience any anxiety symptoms, depression, or work stress, talking to a therapist can help you figure out the main stressors in your life that make you feel this way. Seeing a therapist doesn’t mean that you have a mental illness or that you should be ashamed of yourself. There is a difference between a therapist and a psychologist, so don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Every bit of emotional support can benefit you greatly whether you are dealing with the negative impact of social media or learning how to deal with racism. With a therapist of color, you will learn how to calm yourself down and become the best version of yourself.
With the right support, you can overcome everything.
You are probably wondering: How does therapy work? What to expect at the first therapy appointment? Don’t worry, everybody feels anxious about seeing a therapist for the first time. This is perfectly normal. If you need to deal with racism, depression, or a breakup, a therapist for women of color or a counselor for women are resources you can always turn to.
When dealing with a break-up, whether you wish to break up or have already done so, your therapist will help you find your inner strength to overcome this emotionally. If you still have doubts about breaking up, your therapist will help you set healthy goals in life, teach you how to achieve self-awareness, and set a target of what you truly want to do. When you get to know yourself, you will learn how to walk away from someone you love who is not good for you. By changing your environment, you will transform yourself and your reality.
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