It seems like being in a complicated relationship has happened to everyone at least once in their life. Navigating emotions and always knowing what to say and do often borders on the impossible, making it seem like nothing but women’s therapy can fix what’s been broken. We can recognize the red flags of complex bonds together and share how to handle them without being overwhelmed.
FAQs About Complex Relationships and Their Impact
Many women have questions such as, what does a complicated relationship mean and why are relationships so complicated. It’s normal – modern dating has changed the ways people communicate and their priorities.
You may wonder how long it takes to get over a breakup, too. That depends on the complexity of the bond and its duration. In any case, there’s no universal answer to this. You can eliminate the need to know this by attending counseling for women. You should see a therapist when your sadness starts getting out of control.
What Is a Complicated Relationship?
It’s impossible to define this precisely. It can be that you’ve outgrown people in your life but still spend time with them. It can also be one that you’re constantly reaching out to an ex trying to get them back, or even your ex coming back into your life on their own initiative.
If you were asked by a friend you haven’t seen in a while, “how’s your love life?” and you don’t want or can’t give a straightforward answer about your partner, it’s complicated. If you can’t explain it simply, it isn’t simple, and that’s pretty much it.
How Do I Know for Sure I Am in One?
Therapy for women can give the best results to figuring out your romantic life. If you aren’t fully committed to advice from women’s counseling, though, these are some of the most common signs of complications:
- You are mentally exhausted from being with this person,
- The levels of commitment from you both aren’t the same,
- You are an introvert and don’t get alone time because of their desires,
- There’s something other than love keeping you together,
- You are “friends with benefits,” but you don’t enjoy the benefits.
#1 Sign of a Complicated Relationship: It’s Mentally Exhausting
Mentally exhausting relationships can happen with anyone. Sometimes we can’t let go because of our bond with the person, but outgrowing others and past connections is more than normal – it’s sometimes better and desirable.
One example of mentally tiring bonds is a long-distance relationship. They are often, but not always, quite complex. The farther you are from each other, the worse it can be because scheduling calls with your lover and never getting to touch them can cause depression.
How you react to the complications depends on your attachment style. The avoidant and anxious styles can make people feel exhausted, but for entirely different reasons. The secure attachment style is the most desirable in every situation, but it may be rare.
If an anxious and an avoidant type come together, the first will never have enough affection and affirmations, making the avoidant person tired. On the other hand, the latter will rarely show any emotion, making the anxious person feel unloved. If you are experiencing any of these signs, it might be time to leave.
#2 They’re Keeping You a Secret (Or You Them)
Say you’ve engaged in an office romance and one of you doesn’t feel comfortable showing affection in front of colleagues. If you aren’t on the same page when it comes to this, keeping the affair a secret will lead to resentment.
When there’s hiding and resentment in relationships, you’ll have to get over a bad breakup for sure. One of you won’t be happy about the flow of things, and it’ll lead to bad blood eventually.
If You’re Dating Someone Who Hides You, You’ll Often Feel Bad
If your lover is hiding you for some reason, you’ll never feel as a priority to them. More than likely, you won’t be. There are numerous reasons why someone might hide in public a partner they profess undying love to privately.
Not to oversimplify, but they could be dependent on others’ approval, fear their surroundings’ opinions, or be married. Whatever the cause for their secrecy, it won’t feel good for you, for sure.
You can justify it, but if hiding in plain sight makes you feel awful, no amount of excuses will help. In these situations, self-care is important, if not crucial. You may want to think about turning the page in your romantic life book.
#3 You Have a Crush on Them But Are Too Scared of Their Reaction
Expressing feelings can be terrifying, especially when the person you like is a close friend or a “friend with benefits.” These are two entirely different personalities, but it’s possible to have feelings for both.
There’s being scared to admit something and worrying about someone’s reaction. It’s normal to be nervous about confessing feelings for someone, but being afraid of their response is another story.
If they’re unpredictable or dictate the terms of the commitment, and you think stirring the pot would be damaging, that’s a red flag. It’s possible to have a crush on someone you only have sex with, but if you think they’d cut you off and have a dramatic response, you’ll give up and stay in a cycle you are unworthy of.
Don’t Worry if You Can’t Confess But Don’t Wait Long to Say Something
Whatever the case, if your feelings are too strong and get in the way of communicating with this person properly, confessing will be the right thing to do.
A counselor for women could give advice on overcoming insecurity and encourage you to be open about your emotions. You may be introverted and have difficulties expressing yourself freely – then lean on some tips for introverts to assist you in mustering the courage.
Having your true feelings out in the open will ultimately be better for you. Bottling them up never turns out well, and if the recipient of your confession doesn’t accept it, you’ll be sure and free to move on.
#4 Your Bond Has Become Circumstantial
Ever heard of the expression “stay together for the kids?” This is common in marriage, with couples who don’t agree or enjoy each other anymore. Ultimately, staying together for the sake of the circumstances will lead to many psychological complications.
When something other than love’s keeping your marriage, the best ways to care for yourself are honest conversations with a partner. Those who eventually leave circumstantial commitments could end up dating with depression and believe they’re only as useful as the circumstances allow it.
You are meant to be loved no matter the time, place, or situation. Remember that and allow yourself to leave a bond where you only stay because you feel you need the other person or vice versa.
#5 You Have to Pretend to Love Them
What if you are dating the “good guy” that everyone loves? They want him to be your future husband and adore how he’s always affectionate with you. This would all sound ideal if you felt the same, but you may not, and that’s OK.
You may have had some horrible exes, but it doesn’t mean the first nice guy that comes along is marriage material. You want to know and feel it in your heart before your family or friends say so. Pretending to love someone everyone says is great for you can take a significant toll.
You can get depressed for not feeling what they believe you should and convince yourself that something’s broken. However, the cost of keeping everyone happy is not worth the price, since you are the only one who’ll have to spend all your time with this person, not them.
Things and situations such as these are normal and happen more than you think. They’re the best time to walk away from a commitment and stay hopeful that, one day, someone as nice or even nicer will come and make you feel amazing.
Women’s Counseling Can Help With Handling Your Relationships
Booking your first therapy appointment can be scary. You may not know how to choose a therapist correctly or might worry if therapy even works. However, the issues you’ve read about above can be fixed and worked on with counselors for women.
At WOC Therapy, we provide comfort, safety, and security. We’re all women that help uplift and protect other women by doing workshops and classes and providing emotional support. You can always contact us and let us help you book your first therapy session. We’ll break the bonds of complex relationships together.