(818) 245-5352Creating Shade in Moments of Overwhelm
When emotional pain feels unbearable, safety and connection come first. Learn how to offer support and when to reach out for help. WOC Therapy, Los Angeles.
Recently, I was outdoors with my family in the blistering summer heat. I was sweating profusely, carrying a diaper bag, a picnic blanket, and my little one’s hand. My brows were furrowed and my body ached as we walked, searching for some shade.
My focus was on a tree.
I had to get there.
As I schlepped toward it, I heard a cry. My little one had tripped and needed help. For about 15 seconds, I felt angry that we had stopped. At the same time, I felt guilty that he was hurt and blamed myself for his tripping.
And then something shifted.
My body seemed to override those feelings. I paused, scooped him up, and charged toward the shade. I was like a bull charging toward a red flag.
My body knew.
When we reached the tree, I plopped down on the dry grass. Safety, finally.
My son sat on my lap, and slowly, my body began to ease. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and sank into the ground.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
My face began to relax. I heard my little one’s breath and giggle. A cool wave of peace and connection came over me.
That hard moment was over.
I was safe.
I was present.
I was at peace.
Why Ordinary Moments Can Become Overwhelming
This experience reminded me how quickly even an ordinary moment can become overwhelming. When our bodies perceive stress or danger, our attention can narrow. We may become focused on getting through the moment, finding an escape, or simply making the discomfort stop.
And sometimes, emotional pain can become so intense that a person begins to experience thoughts of suicide. In those moments, the pain may feel unbearable, and the future may feel impossible to imagine.
This is where emotional support can matter so deeply.
How to Support Someone in Emotional Pain
Sometimes support isn’t about having the perfect words or knowing how to solve someone’s problems. Sometimes, it is about helping create a little bit of shade.
It can sound like:
- “I’m here with you.”
- “You don’t have to figure everything out right now.”
- “Let’s slow this moment down together.”
- “You don’t have to carry this alone.”
Just as my body needed shade before it could settle, we sometimes need a sense of safety and connection before we can think clearly, access our resources, or imagine what comes next.
Listening to Your Body and Allowing Support
Listening begins with tuning into our inner world: our breath, our sensations, our emotions, and the signals our bodies are giving us. It also means allowing ourselves to recognize when we need support and allowing others to sit beside us in difficult moments.
On that day, I was reminded of my own power: my power to move, my power to protect, and my power to connect.
But I was also reminded that we don’t always have to find the shade alone.
Sometimes, healing begins when someone helps us find it.
If You or Someone You Love Needs Support Right Now
If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide or feeling unable to stay safe, reaching out for immediate support can be an important first step. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
Find Your Shade With WOC Therapy
You deserve a space where you don’t have to explain yourself, carry everything alone, or hold it together. At WOC Therapy, we offer culturally affirming, community-rooted support for women of color across the San Fernando Valley and greater Los Angeles area.
If overwhelm, anxiety, grief, or emotional pain has been weighing on you, we’re here to sit beside you.
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