# signs of a toxic relationship you should recognize on time

5 Signs of a Toxic Relationship You Should Recognize on Time

Relationships

Tamika Lewis May 12, 2022

Most experts will say that you have to walk out of a toxic relationship, but the trouble is that people mostly don’t know how to recognize and read the signs of a toxic relationship. This can cause many serious problems that can eventually lead to emotional abuse, anxiety, and the development of mental health issues. If you don’t feel comfortable in your current relationship or want to find out what to be aware of, this article might be helpful.

Toxic Relationships Are Very Dangerous, So It’s Important to Recognize Red Flags on Time and Save Your Mental Health

Unfortunately, many people are already familiar with the term toxic relationship or have recognized some unhealthy habits or behavior in relationships around them but still struggle to see those red flags when it comes to their partners. This is why many stay stuck in unhealthy relationships, which can lead to depression and unnecessary stress and anxiety when even a bad breakup can be considered a much healthier solution.

Recognize Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Did people start misreading obvious signals? We communicate more and more through social media, use emojis instead of words, and hide behind our smartphones which often hide something you could otherwise easily read on someone’s face if, for example, your partner’s feelings were hurt.

On social media, people tend to pretend to be someone they really are not, so make sure you know your partner well offline because that’s when you’ll be able to recognize their true colors and maybe even notice a difference between the online and live version. Don’t let them trick you, trust your gut.

Woman looking for help
It is important that you learn how to read warnings before it's too late

#1 Lack of Communication or Troubles in Expressing Emotions Are Some of the First Signs of a Toxic Relationship

People often carry the burden of previous toxic relationships with them without even being aware of it. This, unfortunately, doesn’t necessarily start when humans begin dating and learning about themselves, but much earlier, during childhood and family life. According to the attachment theory, early relation with a mother or other significant childhood figures is essential for developing different attachment styles that can be either secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant.

The Attachment Theory – This Might Help You Understand Why You Feel Certain Emotions

The healthiest form is a secure attachment that a child develops from a healthy relationship with the mother who knows how to understand the child’s needs and answer them properly. If not, children develop unhealthy communication mechanisms that could eventually lead to troublesome relations with people they meet later on in their life – mostly friends and partners. If their inner self is unhealthy, they will become insecure and try to hide their true needs or avoid communicating about them.

Girl walking away from a guy
Self-destructing patterns that can show up while avoiding communication might seem very unattractive

#2 Toxic Partners Will Show Resentment if You Misread Their Needs or Don’t Magically Know How They Feel

If you notice that your significant other doesn’t want to talk about burning issues, changes the subject when something is important to you, doesn’t listen, or simply disrespects what you want and have to say – those are some of the most common red flags. Those who don’t know how to express their feelings properly can also have anger outbursts when the negative emotions accumulate, which can often scare their partners who don’t know how to handle and behave in such situations.

Toxic communication can also be very obvious, for example, when one openly disrespects the other one and says hurtful and mean things, no matter if they are alone or in front of other people. If you suspect your relationship is toxic, one of the first warnings is that you’re feeling like the other person is trying to hurt you on purpose.

You Can Get Emotionally Manipulated and Abused

Often, people are scared to say something that could be potentially negative to their partner because they are afraid of their reaction. And when they do tell what’s bothering them, the other person tries to make it look like they got it all wrong and flip the story upside down.

They make you feel guilty or even start accusing you of being “the actual cause of problems.” It’s very common that a partner who accuses you is a manipulative, narcissistic person that doesn’t care about your well-being or your bond and only cares about themselves.

Couple fighting
Your significant other will disrespect you in different ways

#3 Unreasonable Jealousy Is a Common Thing in an Unhealthy Relationship

It is important to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy jealousy. Some people tend to misread extreme jealousy as a sign that their significant other loves them deeply and honestly. We don’t want to disappoint you, but this can potentially mean that your partner is obsessed with you in a very unhealthy way. How to notice this? Your jealous partner will probably try to control your every move and contact, come up with all sorts of worst-case scenarios if you don’t answer their message within a few minutes, and so on.

Jealous boyfriend looking at girlfriend's phone
If you feel like you're being controlled and that your every move is monitored, your significant other is probably expressing unhealthy jealousy symptoms

#4 Toxic Partners Are Experts in Emotional Blackmailing

These people will often threaten to leave you, try everything to make you become a people pleaser, and make them happy even if that is definitely not good for you. If you fall into this trap and start listening to them because you’re afraid of losing them, you will actually lose other important people in your life and feel lonelier than ever.

This will also stop you from leaving this abusive partner even when you notice that your relationship isn’t a healthy one. You will feel like you don’t have anyone else and don’t know how to live without them because they are the only ones you have. Toxic partners will also try to make you jealous on purpose by doing things they know you don’t support. If you react negatively to their acts, they will use this as an argument the next time you do something they don’t like and make themselves victims of your jealousy.

You Can Also Be Accused of Being Toxic if You Don’t Know How to Express Your Feelings

If they are accusing you of being toxic, you can also ask yourself if you’re the one making some of these red flags. It doesn’t have to necessarily make you a bad person, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. The problem is when it becomes a pattern that’s hurting other people. You or your significant other maybe didn’t have any previous experience with relationships, so you’re both struggling to show your emotions in a proper way and continue hurting each other unintentionally.

No matter the case, it is essential to learn how to recognize these red flags and save yourself from ending up emotionally hurt, mentally exhausted, and afraid of developing new, potentially healthier, and much better relationships. Instead of losing your health and sanity, learn how to use this in your power and grow into a much wiser and stronger person.

Shocked girl looking at her phone
One of the things a toxic person will do is to make you jealous on purpose

#5 Dishonesty Is Another Major Issue That Might Come Out

If through time, you develop a secure and healthy attachment style, you’ll end up as a trusting person believing that others are good and have kind intentions, so you probably won’t try to act like a detective and find potential lies in your relationships. You simply won’t bother looking for more information, checking their phones while they are showering, stalking them around trying to find if they are actually going to work or doing something else.

On the other hand, toxic partners will double-check every word you say and sometimes even misread them only to fit them into their negative expectations. They will look for the smallest reason to get mad and justify their actions – which is probably just what they accuse you of lying, cheating, hiding things, or being dishonest just to avoid getting too exposed and potentially hurt.

Signs That Could Help You Recognize a Dishonest and Toxic Behavior in a Relationship

Dishonest partners don’t necessarily have to cheat – they will often lie about some insignificant stuff, which can be even more frustrating. If you notice that your partner is lying about some random things for no reason, you will be very frustrated and probably ask yourself if your whole relationship is a lie if they don’t hesitate to lie about some insignificant stuff.

Once you start losing trust, every upcoming problem will become even bigger and harder to solve, which might even lead to a breakup. This is a phase where a certified therapist for women could offer you support – counseling for women is one of the best ways to solve personal issues when going through a tough breakup or a turning point in life.

Couple at therapy
No matter how much you love your significant other, self-love has to be your priority - and therapy might help you with setting your priorities straight

Is It Possible to Fix Toxic Behavioral and Save a Relationship? Therapy Might Help You and Your Partner

If you notice some of the warning signs of a toxic relationship but still try to save what’s left to save and start wondering if you should see a therapist, there is an answer – find a therapy for women of color and start working on your future. Being exposed to such negative behavior often leaves consequences, so even if you walk away from this relationship, you should work on yourself through coaching sessions to get the necessary encouragement and a clear picture.

Therapy doesn’t work if you or the other person are neglecting or refusing to admit that there is a problem. This issue can also be harder to treat if one of the partners has serious emotional trauma from the past, but with the right amount of will, commitment, and emotional support, you can learn how to communicate better and have a healthy and loving relationship.

WOC Reflections features weekly interviews and wellness tips delivered to your inbox. 

© 2021 Designed by Woctherapy | All rights reserved.