Redefining Motherhood and Taking Care of Yourself - WOC Therapy

Redefining Motherhood and Taking Care of Yourself

Self-Care

Tamika Lewis November 8, 2021

We understand how putting yourself first sounds to all mothers – like a selfish thing to do. But there are numerous reasons why you should step out of your comfort zone and practice self-care. Redefining motherhood and everything it stands for will help mothers stay healthy, maintain their careers and live a life full of joy, all while remaining on top of all their motherhood-related tasks. It’s not out of reach, but it’s something that you can adopt into your lifestyle and allow yourself to recharge.

How Redefining Motherhood Will Make You a Better Parent

It’s not an unusual thing for most mothers to neglect any self-care tips out there. But as much as becoming a parent defines your life, a woman is so much more, even beyond motherhood. That is important to understand, mainly because making purposeful and intentional choices for your needs will help you be a better mother. The true goal is to make space for yourself to grow together with your children.

Life Can Be Stressful, Especially When You Have Kids

Even before we venture into parenthood, there’s a lot of tension going on around us. Choosing to become a mother is a massive step in a woman’s life and one of the best experiences we face, but trying to balance everything without planning can only bring up the tension levels.

black girl after therapy
If reading makes you happy, you should know that reading books 20 minutes a day will expose you to 1.8 million words a year

The First Step Is to Set Your Goals Early On

One of the best self-care ideas is to start the journey of nurturing your needs at an early stage of parenthood while you’re pregnant. It’s not easy to balance it all out, but careful planning and realizing that taking care of your being is something that shouldn’t be the last on the to-do list. Making some space in your schedule for some me-time is the best way to deal with stress before it starts to pile up, and it will make an excellent foundation for personal care.

Some Basics of Redefining Mom Self-Appreciation

Some people believe that mothers aren’t allowed to have me-time, but in truth, if you don’t feel well mentally and physically, you won’t be able to take good care of your children either. Our social culture believes that maternal instincts don’t allow us to take care of ourselves. Now, let’s look at the hard truths:

  • No one else will make your self-care a priority but you. This is something that you need to repeat to yourself every moment you feel any guilt or if you think you require permission to take care of yourself.
  • You should look yourself in the mirror and determine the targets needed to recharge yourself. Pick both daily and weekly goals and maintain them, and add to this list on the go, whether it’s reading books or taking a walk by yourself.
  • No one can manage to do it all while maintaining good mental and physical health. Although we feel the impact of social media even on the way we view motherhood, with all the perfect moms who manage it all, you should realize no one can handle it all and go easy on yourself.
  • Justifying the reasons for downtime is a big no-no. You shouldn’t wait for other’s approval because you have the right to meet your own needs, and no one has the right to tell you you’re not doing things by the book.
  • Parenthood, especially for a woman, is imbalanced. Without acknowledging this, it may be a connection between black women and depression, where you will need to choose a therapist to seek help. That’s why it’s important to embrace the imbalances and plan accordingly.

In situations where you still can’t cope with everything you need to juggle out, you can always make a first therapy appointment or invest in counseling for women because a professional such as a black woman therapist may give you the support you need.

woman and boy meditating
You can reserve a moment for yourself or find activities that your kids can join

Recent Research Shows the Benefits of Physical Activity

According to WHO, maintaining regular physical activity has significant health benefits for both our bodies and our minds. Perhaps you can only squeeze in some time to shake up your regular day-to-day routine, or you’ve set a goal to do it more frequently, and you’re finding time for it several times a week. Any activity is great to calm yourself down from stress and to loosen your body from strain. You can organize dance parties with your kids, grab a book and run to the park to read it, or commit to a yoga class. Giving yourself time to exercise is essential and should be a part of a new you.

While the COVID Pandemic Is Still at Large, the Regular Intake of Nutrients Is Vital for Your Immune System

Some may think that we’re stating the obvious, but in truth, moms continuously put their kids’ needs first and end up skipping a meal or forgetting to eat at all. While it’s okay to grab a snack on the go sometimes, you will be modeling healthy behavior to your kids if you stop to nourish yourself. Planning a week of healthy meals can be done in a few minutes, so you can shop accordingly. We can’t emphasize enough how important your immune system is, especially while Covid-19 is still a present threat.

Do Something New – Get Enough Sleep Every Night

Most mothers see the hours when their kids are asleep as a perfect moment to do various things around the home. But a chronic lack of sleep is something that should be avoided. Many experts say that chronic lack of regular sleep can have various health consequences, such as increased appetite with weight gain. It can then increase the risk of cardiovascular disease and depression. And although you think you can get a lot of things done, you’ll soon realize that the lack of sleep gave way to other problems.

Go On the Regular Check-ups

Just like you wouldn’t miss the annual check-ups for kids, you shouldn’t skip them yourself. Your healthcare should be on the calendar, too. Many women neglect their body’s signals when something is wrong, and it could end up in serious issues. Make sure you regularly visit a doctor for appropriate tests and contact a counselor for women, if needed. Get informed on the difference between a therapist and a psychologist and determine whether you need a therapist of color to help you overcome daily stress. If you’re wondering does therapy work, the answer is yes; just make sure you find a black therapist that’s on the same page as you.

woman and boy meditating
Be a role model for your children by taking regular meals

Don’t Neglect Your Connections

All mothers are beyond busy, and their schedules oftentimes don’t allow a moment to spare for friends or family. Perhaps the truth is that date nights with your friends are out of the question, but there’s always some space in your calendar to maintain connections. You can designate a day in the month when you have coffee with your friends or invite your neighbors with kids for a pizza night. That way, both you and the kids will be entertained.

women's counseling
Spending a couple of hours with friends at least once a month is essential for your mental health

The Role of a Mother Is Not Easy, but Staying Connected to Yourself Is Vital

With everything a role of a mother presents, especially as the social culture sees it, it’s easy to get lost in daily routines. Family life is all about running errands and keeping everyone happy. But don’t lose yourself in these motherly tasks, and stay true to the things you love. Pursue any hobbies that make you happy, and stay informed on the latest trends in your work industry. If you feel the pressure building up, you can always join Women of Color Therapy’s Motherhood Made Easy Workshop or simply make a therapy appointment and talk to a professional.

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