Not many things in life can hurt as much as an end of a relationship. Even when you know that that is for the best, it is never easy to get over, especially if you two spent years together. If you want to find out how to get over a breakup with someone you love and how to rebuild your life and feel whole again, I have some tips you might find useful.
Step 1. How to Get Over a Breakup? First, Create a Distance Between You and Your Ex
Ending a relationship with someone is never easy. When people spend a lot of time together, they share many things, they build routines, habits, and once everything is over, you feel like there is a hole, like you’re incomplete. This feeling of loss is sometimes followed by anxiety symptoms, but in the end, feelings like these are perfectly normal and expected.
There will be times when you’ll be tempted to reach out to an ex out of habit, but you need to fight the urge to contact your former partner. You need to learn how to function without them on your own. No stalking, no texting, or calling. The sooner you start your new life without them, the better. Do whatever is in your power to avoid your ex. Here are some of the things you need to do if you want to know how to get over a mutual breakup:
- Don’t text or call – if possible, block them,
- Avoid places where you two used to hand out together,
- Avoid asking around about your ex.
Work on Your Social Media Distancing
If possible, block your previous partner on all social media platforms. We all know how big is the impact of social media on mental health, and you don’t need a constant reminder of that person in such vulnerable times. Also, you don’t want to end up comparing yourself to them, but getting over them as soon as possible.
Learn How to Recognize Signs of Serious Mental Health Illness
Sometimes, a bad breakup can leave some severe consequences, and you might even develop depression. Moving on and trying to date with depression is never a good idea, which is why you need to ensure you’re really ready to move on before you start dating again. If your headspace is not in the right place, you should seek the help of a mental health professional or a doctor immediately. Here are some symptoms that you shouldn’t ignore:
- Feeling sad,
- Now being able to concentrate,
- Lying in bed all day,
- Panic attacks,
- Tiredness and low energy,
- Extreme mood swings,
- Suicidal thoughts,
- Alcohol or drug abuse,
- Excessive anger.
Step 2. Don’t Beg for Another Chance in Your Dark Times
Getting over someone is not easy, and you will have to fight feelings such as insecurity and doubt constantly. Sooner or later, you’ll find yourself in a situation where you’ll seriously consider reaching out to your ex. You’ll come up with many excuses why that is the right thing to do, but in those dark times, you have to stay strong and avoid your phone.
The best would be to remind yourself why you walked away from the relationship in the first place. Write a list of all the things that annoyed you, of all the reasons why your relationship failed, and keep it close to yourself. Read it over and over to remind yourself why it is not worth it. If you are going to counseling for women, feel free to open up and talk about your problem.
Step 3. Don’t Jump Into Another Relationship Right Away
If you thought that the fastest way to get over a breakup is to jump into another relationship, you couldn’t be more wrong. Most therapists will tell you that this is the worst thing you can do. Because you are not ready to be fully committed to that new person and that you are not ready to be in a relationship. Dating and working on yourself can be challenging, and this new person might not be so full of understanding, so better go one step at a time.
Also, all counselors for women agree that this kind of impulsive urge to be with someone else is a red flag signaling that you must work on the reasons why you are so afraid of being alone. If you see yourself doing this, the best would be to google counseling for women near me and seek help. Remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with being alone and that this breakup can be a great new experience and a fresh start from which you will grow as a woman and learn why self-care is important.
Step 4. Do Some Self Care and Remember Your Worth
Taking care of yourself is something that we all should do, no matter if we are dealing with work stress, loneliness, sadness, or even dealing with racism. So the first thing you can do to help yourself is to search for some self-care tips. You should make some plans for yourself. It sounds like a cliche but finding a new hobby to keep you occupied truly does wonders.
Talking about your emotions is also part of the process. If you don’t want to go through that with your friends, you could join some workshops for women. These workshops are excellent, especially if you are getting over a bad breakup or a toxic relationship. Here you will share experiences with women that have been through similar situations.
Step 5. See if There Are Patterns You Need to Break
How to get over a breakup you caused? Well, if you wish to learn something valuable from this negative experience, then you need to go deeper than just making a list of the pros and cons of that relationship. You should visit a therapist to help you figure out if there are some bad patterns you are repeating over and over in every relationship and learn from your mistakes.
Not only will you get over the breakup faster, but you will learn something from it and be more prepared to start a new healthy relationship. Learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them. Try to find the deeper cause of the problems, and get to the bottom of it.
Step 6. Refresh Your Look and Do Something Nice for Yourself
You don’t have to make any dramatic changes, but a small change of look can help you feel better. Who says that a change of hairstyle or a new outfit won’t help you feel refreshed and self-confident again?
But be aware there are some downsides to fast and major changes, only if you are changing from the outside to avoid thinking about what is inside. This can help your state of mind in the short run, but in the end, you will start feeling sad again if you don’t deal with your emotions in the right manner.
Step 7. Feel Free to Seek Counselor for Women at Anytime
There are times when you just don’t know how to get over someone you love, and anxious feelings turn into depression and self-destruction. In this situation, it’s highly advisable to seek therapy for women. Because if you seek expert opinion on time, you will avoid a lot of pain down the road. If you are a woman of color and you struggle every day with all the bad in the world, latent racism, misogyny, and on top of all that, a bad breakup therapy for women of color can help you a lot.
Not only that you will learn how to fight negativity in your life in productive and healthy ways, but you will also feel empowered to start afresh. In women’s therapy, you will talk with a professional that knows what you are dealing with daily and can give you advice and emotional support that you need.