How to Deal With Grief | How to Deal With Grief

How to Deal With Grief

Mental Health

Tamika Lewis March 10, 2022

It’s impossible to give everyone universal tips on how to deal with grief. Suffering a loss in life typically happens very suddenly, and even if we’re prepared and see some warning signs, no person is ever truly ready to go through the grieving process. Let’s discuss it and debunk some myths about the most difficult time in life.

You Can Learn How to Deal With Grief But Don’t Rush Yourself

Many will tell you to stay strong when you ask how to handle grief. It’s not so easy, though. Some people aren’t able to deal with all the bad in the world, and when they experience a loss, staying strong can’t do much for them.

Staying resilient is vital in daily life, but it’s sometimes a toxic coping mechanism, too. Strong, uncontrollable feelings of loss and sadness aren’t something a person can simply sweep under the rug. They’ll bubble up to the surface or become unhealthy coping methods.

Think if you should see a therapist when you feel it’s impossible to function and perform simple tasks. Contact a counselor for women and let them give you tips on dealing with the emotions and replacing toxic with healthy coping mechanisms.

therapy for women of color
It's important to learn how to healthily cope with strong emotions, which a therapist for women can help you with

There’s No Timeline or One Way to Grieve – Everyone Copes With Loss Differently

Grief is typically related to loss. Whether it’s a death in the family, a relationship breakup, or a health emergency, it all hurts equally and may initially seem like you’ve lost a part of yourself. In this stage, you can fall into denial and, if going through a breakup, start preparing for your ex to come back into your life.

While asking a loved one to come back seems easier than knowing it’s impossible, both are equally difficult since you’re powerless to cause anything to change. In both cases, you’ve experienced a loss that puts you through the motions.

Sinking into sadness and forgetting to take care of yourself is one of the symptoms that you may need support in the form of women’s counseling. As hard as losing a family member or a partner is, it’s a part of life we’ll never be able to avoid.

What anyone you’ve lost would want is for you to keep going with your life and realize its worth. They’d like you to be happy, no matter how it seems.

The Symptoms of Grief

As an illness, grieving has symptoms that need to be worked on and treated so you can be better again. They’re the reason why self-care is important and why nurturing the one person that matters most – you – is crucial in surviving it.

The following symptoms are the main reasons to talk to a doctor:

  • Trouble with performing basic activities and losing your daily routine,
  • Blaming yourself,
  • Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness,
  • Increased depression.

Your sadness doesn’t have shortcuts, but there are methods and ways to alleviate the emotions. Contact support groups for grieving people, talk to friends and family, and learn how to take care of yourself in new ways – these can all help ease the pain.

Worried woman sitting on the floor, covering her face with hands
Sometimes negative feelings won't go away on their own, so you shouldn't hesitate to seek help on time

Some Myths and Facts About the Grieving Process

It’s unsure when people were imposed with rules on how to act, love, and grieve, but there are often so-called “rules” on how someone’s supposed to feel. Only recently has it been acknowledged that emotions aren’t on a fixed timeline.

The following myths all have scientific facts that debunk them and support us in understanding how our emotions work.

The Myth: You’ll Cope Better if You Stay Strong or Ignore It Ever Happened

Let’s set a scenario for this myth: you and your long-term partner have separated unexpectedly. This is an awful thing to go through, as breakups are never easy. But to lose someone you loved for years can bring out new levels of grieving.

Those closest to you will likely say you’ll get over the bad breakup and find someone better, encourage you to stay strong, and not let it get to you. However, while these messages seem empowering to them, to you, they’ll likely be destructive.

Just hearing “move on” after a breakup isn’t easy, even after a few months. After years of emotional attachment, it’ll likely seem like a part of you is missing.

The Fact: Allowing Feelings to Come Naturally Will Ultimately Be Better for Your Health

Many people would recommend distancing yourself from your ex-partner’s social media as much as possible, but not everyone has that sort of boundary put in place. This is the fact: many of us don’t even understand the impact of social media on our mental health.

What can be helpful is allowing your emotions to “run freely” and come as they are. Learn how each makes you feel and implement some self-care ideas and solutions when they appear. If you sense anger about the breakup, find a way to release it, and alike.

A sad girl sitting on the bed, wiping tears and looking at her phone
Learning how social media impacts your mental health will help you place boundaries that could ultimately heal you

The Myth: Crying Is the Only Way to Grieve

When someone important to us dies, whether from illness or old age, it’s unexpected. Sometimes, it’s so surprising that the shock seems to take hold for a while.

If you don’t cry, people may wonder if you’re even sad about losing a loved one, which will then lead you to think the same thing. You’ll doubt your feelings and responses and may even feel like a bad person for not shedding a tear immediately (or ever).

The Fact: Your Feelings Will Balance On a Tightrope, and Every Reaction Will Be Different

Not only is no one allowed to tell you how to feel, but they honestly can’t. Forcing yourself to cry for the cost of keeping everyone happy isn’t something you should be doing while mourning. Instead of shedding tears, you could notice signs that you are mentally exhausted, that you aren’t functioning the same, or that you can’t make yourself do things you typically would.

Crying is not a measure of how hard or how much we feel. However, it’s also perfectly normal to do it. It’s one of the many ways of showing emotion and responding to intense situations. Some people cry at everything, while others have never shed a tear. They’re different in reacting to the sadness that strikes them equally.

Do not judge yourself based on others’ responses. It comes down to letting yourself experience whatever feeling comes and finding ways to deal with stress within that moment.

The Myth: Grieving Has a Timeline

Perhaps the worst myth of all is that you have a certain time to grieve a loved one before you become better again. Putting such an expectation on yourself is dangerous to your physical and mental health since grieving doesn’t have a timeline.

If you get caught up in reading how long it takes to get over a breakup or another kind of loss, you’ll, again, feel awful for not falling into that timeline or force and lie to yourself to be better when you obviously can’t. Don’t fall for this trap, as it’s misleading and dangerous.

The Fact: No Time Can Be Determined to Grieve, But Get Help if It’s Too Strong

Instead of giving yourself a year to be sad, why not try to find something small to do each day? For every day you don’t want to get out of bed, give yourself the task of brushing your teeth or taking a shower for a start.

You don’t have to plan multiple tasks every day but start with one. Any time you want to do more than just get out of bed is a win. You’ll see that, in time, you won’t have a problem with doing things like you used to anymore.

Women’s therapy should be on your list of things to do while mourning if you find that you’re incapable of accomplishing anything. Attending counseling for women will make it easier to find happiness in your day-to-day life while the process lasts and prove to you that therapy indeed works.

therapy for women of color
Many myths surround grief because it doesn't have a timeline or rules

Therapy Can Help in Coping and Dealing With Grief

You can contact us any time, choose a therapist, and book your first therapy appointment with us to begin your healing journey. Our counselors for women can and will help you learn how to handle grief and loss, but besides that, they’ll provide coping strategies and long-term relief from symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Choosing therapy for women means you’re ready to look after yourself and your mental health and allow others to support you in making and establishing positive changes in your lifestyle.

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