The first mention of the coronavirus vaccine started the great divide between those who are pro and anti-vaxx. It’s not just an opinion anymore – our vaccine choices are affecting the lifestyles we lead, and that couldn’t be more true when it comes to the unvaxxed and living and dating in a vaxxed world.
Life and Dates of the Unvaxxed Singles
A lot of people are anxious about the upcoming times. In the US, discontent is growing on both sides. Those who are vaccinated believe it’s unfair that they share the space with the unvaxxed colleagues who pose a transmission risk. A portion of the unvaxxed claims that they aren’t against vaccination at all, but that they believe nobody has the right to force them to the point of obligatory vaccination and taking their choices away.
Vaccination Currents Occurring in the World
The tides can turn either way, from court-mandated vaccination to states giving out incentives and strongly recommending vaccines, but leaving it to be a personal decision. Some countries are introducing green Covid passports, and in some countries, revolutions are starting where people protest and burn them. Some countries in Europe, like Germany, have proposed a bill where companies will have the right to tax the unvaxxed and use the money for healthcare.
Living and working as an unvaxxed individual is not a walk in the park either. Many companies proclaimed that the staff must be fully vaccinated in order to return to the workplace. Others have mandatory coronavirus tests on a regular basis. There’s a lot of talk about aggression in the workplaces where vaccinated and unvaccinated colleagues are entering into disputes about vaccination.
The coronavirus pandemic has divided the world
A Therapist’s Tips for Playing the Dating Field
Dating in itself can be difficult to navigate, especially for a woman of color, who often has to deal with racism, fetishization, and a long list of other issues. Add to it the stigma that follows you, an unvaccinated individual, around wherever you go, and it becomes even harder. But it’s not impossible – here are some tips on how to overcome these hurdles while looking for a romantic partner as an unvaccinated woman.
1. Have a Talk About Covid Prevention in the Getting-to-Know-You Phase
The world as we know it has changed almost overnight. From those who claim that the coronavirus doesn’t exist to the ones who have become germaphobes carrying a spray bottle of alcohol wherever they go, the range of attitudes is surreal. You should match with a partner with similar interests regarding good health practices.
Every potential partner has to go through the Getting To Know You phase where you screen people to determine if they’re a match for you. Since Covi-Dating has become our reality, it’s a good practice to talk about prevention, vaccination status, and beliefs at this stage. You might find out that you don’t share the same points of view, and it’s better to know that at the very beginning of a relationship. In fact, a survey shows that 30% of Bumble users make sure the potential partner is vaccinated before they start a conversation with them.
Don’t be afraid to ask about someone’s vaccination status
2. Give Online Dating a Chance
The safest place you can explore your options during the pandemic is in the online world. Surveys show that most of us are approaching the subject of dating in 2021 more cautiously, but also more creatively. For example, 1 in 5 Bumble users engaged in virtual intimacy (from texting and sexting to video sex) for the first time ever because of the pandemic.
Given that no virus (except malware) can be transmitted through online chats, we suggest you take the time to get to know the person before agreeing to go out on a date with them. In the pandemic, quality, not quantity matters.
FaceTime Dates Are a Health-Conscious Option in the Time of Covid
If you are really worried about having a face-to-face date, schedule a FaceTime one. Make it a fun night in and dress up. You can make it into a fun dinner date experience by arranging food delivery, say Chinese or Italian for example. There are some apps that even have the video-chat date option, as well as ice-breaking games and trivia for their users.
Apps Where You Can Find Singles With Both Vaccine Statuses
You can get back into the game by installing some of the dating apps that are out there. Luckily for you, there are apps for any type of sexuality. Most of these apps come with a range of filters (location, interests, hobbies, ethnicity, religion, height – you name it), and some even have compatibility scores that can help you find the best match. Here’s a list of the most popular apps for meeting potential partners:
Meeting potential matches online might be the right solution for you
3. Vaccination Badges on Dating Sites
Covid has brought on many software updates that would allow people to adjust to the new normal. The vaccination badge feature lets you easily screen potential matches, and even display your own vaxx status right in the open. Actually, there is even a brand new dating app called Unjected that is specifically designed for people who are strongly against the Covid-19 vaccination. Here, the unvaxxed can find support and access the community of like-minded people.
4. Choose the Date Spot Carefully
Worried about Covid and want to minimize the exposure but still not wanting to give up in-person dates? Pay close attention to the location of the date. You should choose a place that’s not too crowded, but it also shouldn’t be too secluded either, for your safety. The virus easily spreads indoors, so maybe it’s a good idea to choose a park during the daytime. Think of a sport or an activity that promotes social distancing from the crowds, like kayaking, stargazing, drive-in movies, picnics, living-room dance-off, or a video game marathon.
Find a public place that’s not too crowded for the first date
5. Revamp Your Profile
Start anew. Algorithms are geared to favor new profiles because they are trying to woo people and make regular and premium users out of them. That means that new profiles are more frequently shown to potential matches. So if you had a profile before the pandemic hit, maybe it’s time to create a new one and use the algorithm to your advantage.
Many dating experts suggest adding recent photos of yourself, including full-figure ones and face closeups. We don’t recommend using heavily edited pictures with filters on them. You shouldn’t lie about your age, height, or weight – the goal is to get a person who’s attracted to everything that makes you – you. This also includes your feelings towards vaccines. Just be yourself, because honesty is the best policy.
Update your online profile with some new photos
6. Is Having Sex During the Covid Pandemic Safe?
If you are past the Getting to Know You phase and want to take it to another level, experts claim that sexual activity doesn’t increase the risk of getting Covid. There is a simple way to explain this: as soon as you take off your mask and kiss another person, you are exposed to the risk. Everything else that comes after won’t increase the risk that is already there. If you want to improve your chances, talk openly about your and the other person’s lifestyles and socialization habits during the pandemic.
This is probably the most wholesome advice we can give you, for a number of reasons. Since there’s no better time to work on yourself than the present, maybe you can use the pandemic to focus on yourself. What’s something you’ve never had the time to do for yourself, or a hobby you’ve always been keen on trying? To quote Nike, “Just Do It”, and we say, do it now.
It’s perfectly okay to take a break from meeting others and assess your strengths and weaknesses. Practice self-care – happiness starts within yourself, and if you achieve that, you don’t need a partner to be happy. This way, you will build up confidence and work on your self-esteem, which can only prove to be helpful in future romantic endeavors.
Take yourself out on a date, pamper yourself or organize an at-home spa day with a bubble bath and some Netflix and chill – after all, self-care is essential. One thing is for sure, you neither have to get waxed nor vaxxed in this case.
Self-care is an essential part of any successful relationship
To Sum It Up – The Vaccination Status Now Affects People’s Choice of Partners
It’s true, the vaccination status can play a major role in the choice of partners. If you’re an unvaccinated individual struggling to date in a vaccinated world, you might face stigma and judgment.
Some pro-vaxx partners will go out of their way to persuade, even demand that you get vaxed or they’ll walk away from the relationship. Some can even gaslight you, and that is not okay. Whatever your point of view is, it might be hard to navigate the daily-changing waters. If you need a therapist to support you and guide you through the dating process, feel free to contact us and schedule your first therapy appointment.
WOC Reflections features weekly interviews and wellness tips delivered to your inbox.