how to fix commitment issues

How to Fix Commitment Issues

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Tamika Lewis May 13, 2022

When in a relationship two people are not on the same page about the future of their relationship, it can often lead to a breakup. But what if we tell you these situations can be fixed and your relationship improved? Learn how to fix commitment issues whether you are the one who has them or your partner.

Finding the one with whom you wish to spend the rest of your life or fully commit to is hard for most people. Trust issues and fear of getting hurt are the main reasons people are reluctant to give themselves entirely to one person. People with these issues have a hard time trusting other people, whether we are talking about a romantic or any other kind of relationship. If you have these problems, learn how to get over commitment issues and trust your significant other.

What Is Commitment Phobia?

No matter what problem someone has in life, whether it is work stress, depression, or dealing with racism, the first step in healing is understanding the roots of that problem. So what is the source of commitment issues? Unfortunately, the answer to this question is individual and hard to find, but it can be revealed through women’s therapy.

There are some tips a person can implement to overcome these issues but only in combination with regular therapy sessions. Commitment phobia is a feeling of fear of getting close to another person. Even though it doesn’t manifest as obviously as anxiety symptoms or depression, it can seriously influence our quality of life and relationships with people we care about.

Woman in a yellow shirt holding cans
A lot of times, different mental health disorders could be an underlying cause of the problem

What Are Signs of Commitment Issues?

Fear of getting into serious deep relationships with other people is not only related to romantic relationships. People with this kind of phobia have a hard time connecting to friends and even family members. Still, the signs of this phobia are most visible when someone is in a romantic relationship. Here are some of the most common signs:

  • Not being able to have a deeper emotional connection with a partner,
  • Running away from a relationship when things get serious,
  • Jumping from one to another relationship,
  • Going too fast in relationships, things like moving in together, engagement, or having kids are happening too fast,
  • Often being unfaithful to partners,
  • Sending mixed signals about the future.

What Causes Commitment Issues?

People often ask themselves how to get rid of commitment issues, and the answer is by understanding what the underlying cause of this phobia is. It could be some deep mental health issues such as personality disorders, attachment disorders, or post-traumatic stress disorder. It is advised to seek therapists because only through the therapy will you discover the true cause of the phobia.

And like there is a  difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack and how people should behave, there are differences in approaches to each of the problems we listed below. The causes of this kind of issue can be different, but they are usually related to some type of fear. Here are the most common ones:

  • Unrealistic expectations,
  • Negative previous experience,
  • Unresolved emotional attachment,
  • Fear of being hurt or betrayed,
  • Thinking that there might be someone better,
  • The imbalance between togetherness and individuality.

How to Fix Commitment Issues in a Relationship? Ways to Help Yourself and Your Partner

Dating someone with commitment issues can be challenging, and if you are in such a relationship, you should know that there are alternatives and ways to fix this situation. Try to search “counseling for women near me” and ask an experienced professional for advice. The right amount of emotional support and some self-care ideas will help you overcome whatever obstacle you face. Here are some of the advice counselors for women could give you.

Talk With Your Partner

If you wonder how to deal with someone who has commitment issues, the first step would be to communicate. Talk with your significant other about future plans. If you see that your partner is avoiding this topic or is not clear about future plans, then he is not committed to your relationship. Suggest that you talk about that, and maybe he will open up to you eventually.

However, don’t wait too long because if your partner is leading you on, you must end it. On the other hand, if you are dating an introvert who has a hard time sharing their emotions, be patient and try to find out your future plans are going in the same direction. Because if you two don’t share the same dreams about the future, this will lead to a hurtful breakup sooner or later.

Consider Couples Therapy

It can happen that you are in love and share the same plans and ideas with your significant other, and everything is perfect. But then, after a couple of months or years, you two are no longer on the same page. In that case, the best would be to search for a “therapist near me” and book couples therapy to start working on this.

It may happen that the therapist suggests individual therapy sessions with your significant other. Still, knowing that your partner no longer shares the same future plans as you can be hard and mentally exhausting. If you are in this kind of relationship facing this type of challenge, you can seek counseling for women and learn some self-care tips and, most importantly, why self-care is important and how to date and self-love.

A woman and a man talking
Talk with your partner about the future with the help of a professional therapist

Consider Therapy for Women

If you wonder how do I heal my commitment issues, the answer is with the help of women’s therapy. Sometimes it is easier to understand the roots of the phobia through women’s counseling. Because with a professional counselor or a therapist who’s a woman, you will not be exposed to stereotypical assumptions about the roots of your problems.

Counselors for women will make sure your problems are dealt with in a serious manner with a deep understanding of what society wants us women to be and who we truly are. With this approach, you not wanting to get married or have kids will not be interpreted as a phobia of getting serious with your partner but as your life choice.

Furthermore, with this approach, the true reason behind why you are not willing to connect on a deeper level with someone will be found. And who knows, maybe there is nothing wrong with you per se, but you just had bad luck finding a partner who can’t follow you up. With a women therapist, you will learn how to empower yourself and when to walk away from a relationship that is harmful to you.

Create Rules for Your Relationship

Another thing you can try, and a therapist will probably advise you to do so, is to create rules for your relationships. This will help you build trust and set boundaries. Because sometimes, a person can develop a fear of connecting with another person when that other person is overcommitted.

If someone is making future plans with you way too soon or wants to always be around you, it can suffocate the romance and scare you. Alone time is important in every partnership and needs to be respected. If you lack this, then setting some rules may help. Give yourselves a chance to miss each other a bit.

Admit Your Fears

How to deal with commitment issues? The best way is to admit you have fears. But admitting fears and being vulnerable around other people can be hard, especially for women, whose emotions and fears can often be ridiculed or not taken seriously. And if you are a woman of color, it is basically impossible to show your weakness and emotions.

These are the costs of keeping everyone happy, but it is crucial to talk about your emotions and fears, and if there is no person in your life to share them with, you can always seek therapy for women of color. Here on your first therapy appointment, you will talk with a therapist of color about everyday problems, and soon, you will feel better.

Woman lying on a couch at the therapist for women of color
Sometimes, only a woman can understand what you are going through

Can Someone With Commitment Issues Change?

Of course, as you can see, all these issues can be resolved with some good strategies. To avoid being stuck with a partner that is not for you or with whom you can not imagine your future, it is crucial to recognize these issues on time and seek therapy. This way, with the counselor’s help, you will know whether these issues can be overcome or not. The worst thing you can do is to sit and hope for someone to change. Change can not happen without proper help.Learn how to fix commitment issues whether you or your partner have some. Find out how to cope with this problem and when it is time to leave.

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